If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
Randomize
