I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
Randomize
