My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
Randomize
