Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
Life lesson #57: drinking whisky out of apples leads to threesomes.
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Randomize
