My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
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