Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
Randomize
