I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
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