You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
So after we got done with our cardiac arrest patient, I thought how awesome would it be to hook up the defibrillator pads to cook a burrito.
dude... how have they not drug tested you yet?
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
Randomize
