Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
Randomize
