I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
to be fair i didnt know she wanted to sleep with me
WHY THE FUCK ELSE WOULD SHE DRAG A STRAIGT MAN INTO A VICTORIA'S SECRET CHANGEROOM GODDAMMIT
Randomize
