So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
Crop dusting thru forever 21
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