You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
Randomize
