Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
Randomize
