Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
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