Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
He's on the porch naked. Help.
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
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