Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
New all-time record for most uncomfortable I've ever been. A midget just asked me to restrap his fanny pack in the bathroom.
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
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