My room smells like vodka and shame
it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
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