It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
Randomize
