Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
Randomize
