just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
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