That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
Randomize
