Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
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