BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
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