Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
I am mentally ready for anal.
Randomize
