I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
PSA: Morning booty calls are no longer accepted after the hours of 6am when I've been drinking or before 11am when I have not. Your cooperation is appreciated.
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
Randomize
