I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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