I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
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