atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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