Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
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