he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
Randomize
