forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
soo... how was my night?
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
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