She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!�
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
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