i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
My ass is underappreciated
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
Randomize
