I'm dying. Please wear something slutty to my funeral.
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
Randomize
