We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
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