covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
Randomize
