...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
Randomize
