tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
Randomize
