I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
So the revenge porn my ex posted just resulted in a contract with a gay porn company. I'm going to make $8,000 this weekend. That would a breakup checkmate. Are you joining me in the legislative committee hearing tomorrow?
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
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