official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
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