Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
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