Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
Babe! I just farted and I swear to jesus lord christ that it sounded like ur name! Ok, more like Meeatt but still... awesome.
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
Randomize