I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
Randomize
