When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
Randomize
