Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
i think i scared a bird with my dick
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
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