I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
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