Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
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