evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
Dear yesterdays makeup, Thank you for always being there when I stay up late binge drinking on weeknights and am running late to work Friday morning. You're the best.
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
Randomize
