he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
My phone autocorrected "shhhhh" to "AHHHHHHHHH" and I feel like that says a lot about my life
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
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