dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
Randomize
