she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
Randomize
