Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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