The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
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